In a similar spirit to the Reo and Mabu Twitter Archive I put together, I thought it might be useful to collect the text crawls from Sara’s program in one place for easy reference.
SARAtto report + Prince wo sagashiteimasu. Tokucyou ha ikevo de iinioi de irojiro de mochihada de kaeru ja nai dish. Suki na tabemono ha kyuuri dish. Futsuu no ningen niha miemasen.
SARAtto report + I am searching for [my] prince. He has a sexy voice, smells good, has smooth white skin, and he is not a frog, dish. His favorite food is cucumber. Normal humans can’t see him.
SARAtto report + Prince ha coldsleep de dokokani nemutteiru hazu dish. Moshi sore wo hakaishita mono ha tatararemasu dish. Gutaite–
SARAtto report + [My] prince is supposed to be in a cold sleep somewhere, dish. If someone were to break [his slumber] they will be cursed, dish. In more concrete te–
SARAtto report + Otonagai niha HAKO ga hitsuyou dish. Sara ha chocobar black3der wo otonagai shiteiru dish. Darenimo ienai himitsu dish. Yonige ni mo HAKO ga hitsuyou dish. Sara mo mu–
SARAtto report + I need a large quantity of boxes, dish. I’m hoarding black3der chocolate bars, dish. It’s a secret I can’t tell anyone, dish. [You] need boxes to run away in the middle of the night too, dish. I also–
Note: I suspect that last line that gets cut off probably starts something like サラも昔に relating to her comment about needing boxes for a 夜逃げ too. Perhaps she fled the Kappa Kingdom…?
SARAtto report + Prince ga mitsukarimashita dish. Kandou no saikai dish. Prince ha kawarihateta osugatani… Demo sara no love ha forever dish. Kare no toiki ha kyuuri no nioi. Kare no hitomi ha miwaku no blackhole. Kare no koe ha sexy voice–
SARAtto report + I found [my] prince, dish. It was an emotional reunion, dish. He looks different on the outside… But Sara’s love is forever, dish. His breath smells like cucumbers. His eyes, bewitching blackholes. His voice is sexy–
SARAtto report + Sara ha keiyuzuri wo shimasu. Nijimasu, yamame, iwana… dore wo tabetemo delicious dish. Kotsu ha sakana–
SARAtto report + I fish in the mountains. Rainbow trout, salmon, char… they’re all delicious to eat, dish. Now, the trick is–
SARAtto report + Hitorigurashi ni ha NEKO ga tottemo hitsuyou dish. Issyo ni gohan wo tabetari cattower de asondari ohirune shittari daremo inai kabe wo mitsumete–
SARAtto report + Cats are an absolute must-have if you live alone, dish. You can eat together, play on the cat tower together, take naps together, stare at empty wa–
SARAtto report + Kyuuri no sasami gomaae recipe dish. Kyuuri wo youi shimasu. Tsugi ni niwatori wo shimemasu. Chinuki wo shimasu. Hane wo mushirimasu. Cyotto kyuukei dish… Pori Pori Pori
SARAtto report + This is a recipe for cucumber sesame chicken, dish. Prepare the cucumbers. Then kill the chicken. Drain the blood. Pluck the feathers. Then take a little break… Crunch Crunch Crunch
SARAtto report + Sara no kuni de ha KISS wo suru mae ni kyuuri de ha wo migakimasu. Kyukyukyukyukyu~! Shiage ni kyuuri no flavor water wo nomu dish.
SARAtto report + In Sara’s home country, we brush our teeth with cucumbers before kissing. Kyukyukyukyukyu~! And we finish it off by drinking cucumber flavored water, dish.
Sakka to iunoha sei to shi no hazama ni iru dish. Sara ha sumidaku to taitoku no hazama ni iru dish. Prince ha ai to yokubou no hazama ni iru dish.
Writers* exist in the space between life and death, dish. Sara exists between Sumida ward and Taito ward, dish. [Sara’s] prince exists betwen love and desire, dish.
Note: After seeing several JP fans’ takes on this, I’m more confident that I was wrong and it’s 作家. I did see a couple people propose サッカー here and there, but this seems to be the dominant read.
SARAtto report + Sara ha jitsuha udon ha dish. Nazenara saraudon ha arukedo saraSOBA ha naikara dish. Sara to zaru ha betsu dish. Darenimo ienai himitsu dish.
SARAtto report + I must confess, I’m more of an udon fan, dish. Why, you ask? Because there is such thing as sara udon, but there is no sara SOBA, dish. Sara is not a zaru* after all, dish. This is a secret I can’t tell anyone, dish.
Note: I couldn’t think of a way to keep the pun with her name, so I just left it. She’s making a joke about zaru soba (like it doesn’t count for the theme she’s going with).
SARAtto report + Ringo no kawa ga mukeruyouni nattekara ga ryouri no hajimari dish. Yononaka niha muketa hito to mukenai hito no 2syurui shika inai dish. Hasaki to yubi no kankaku wo hitotsu ni suru kotode kawa ha mukemasu. Kore ga ucyu
SARAtto report + You can start cooking once you learn to peel the skin off an apple, dish. There are only two kinds of people in this world: those who have a knack for it*, and those who don’t, dish. You can peel off the skin once you can feel the edge of the blade like it’s your own finger. This is [missing] space–
Note: This one’s actually pretty deceptively weird, so several comments and I would not consider this TL particularly solid. First thing, Sara’s two kinds of people are described as “muketa hito” and “mukenai hito” which is honestly kinda weird on a number of levels. I think there’s clearly some wordplay here with 向く (to be suited to/have a knack for a task/etc) and 剥く (to peel), but either read there is a little weird because the first instance is in past tense, which doesn’t really fit either interpretation. I went with 向く just because in English that interpretation could fit either word. But anyway, so if we assume it’s 向く it probably would be 向いている人 and 向いていない人 and if it was 剥く it would probably more naturally be 剥ける人 and 剥けない人 but it’s muketa for some reason. Which actually makes me think that it might actually be something more along the lines of the chick/shell metaphor in Utena: we have “peeled” people and people who cannot be “peeled”.
And my second note is that last cut off sentence immediately made me think of that line in Penguindrum: 「だからさ林檎は宇宙そのものなんだよ。 手の平に乗る宇宙。この世界とあっちの世界を繋ぐものだよ。」”Like I’m saying, the apple is the universe itself. A universe in the palm of your hand. It connects this world and the next.” (quick TL off the cuff because I’m too lazy to look it up).
SARAtto report + Nioi tte kininarimasu yone. Sara ha 1nichi 2kai ofuro ni hairimasu dish. Yoru nerumae to asa okitekara dish. Neteru aida ha hishi ga 1ban ukabiagarun dish. Sara
SARAtto report + Smells are interesting things, don’t you agree? I take two baths a day, dish. Before I go to sleep at night and when I wake up in the morning, dish. You produce the most oils when you’re sleeping after all, dish. I-–
SARAtto report + Natsuyasumi no syukudai ha itsu yaruha? Sara ha namazu no kansatsu wo shiteiru dish. Namazu ha doubutsukai sekisaudoubutsumou sekitsuidoubutsuamon jyou
SARAtto report + When do you do your homework for summer break? I’m studying catfish* dish. Catfish are of the kingdom animalia, phylum chorodata, class actinopterygii, order siluri––
Note: As with many of Sara’s messages, this is likely some wordplay. She’s making it sound like she’s talking about some summer homework assignment (studying catfish), Namazu is also a mythological being––a giant catfish, which is said to cause earthquakes.
SARAtto report + Sara ha bowling ga daisuki dish. TAMA ga ippai atte TAMAranai dish. Tokidoki machigaete prince wo nagete shimau dish. Darenimo ienai himitsu dish.
SARAtto report + I love bowling, dish. All those balls just bowl me over, dish. Sometimes I mistake [my/the] prince for a ball and toss him instead, dish. It’s a secret I can’t tell anybody, dish.
SARAtto report + Kyou ha prince ni daiji na houkoku ga arudish. Masaka karera ga kuromaku datta nante. Tamageta dish. Dakedo Sara niha ano futari ga warui hito niha omoenai dish.
SARAtto report + I have to report some important information to the prince today, dish. I never would have thought they could have been behind it all. It’s like a shot through the heart, dish. But I can’t imagine those two are really bad people, dish.
Note: The tamageta (which I TL’d as “like a shot through the heart”) is another pun. Tamageta is just like to be “shocked” by something, but it’s got “tama” in it which can mean “bullet” and given the context of the episode…
SARAtto report + Sara ha mou nidoto futatabi ra-men ni kosyou ha irenai dish. Nidoto futatabi kusyami wo shinai dish. Nidoto futatabi taisetsu no hito wo ashi de keriagetari shinai dish. Kachikochi––
SARAtto report + I will never put pepper in my ramen again, dish. I will never sneeze again, dish. I will never kick someone I care about again, dish. Clink, clink*––
Note: The “kachikochi” bit at the end is an SFX for like ice cubes is probably the simplest description given the context (almost certainly a reference to frozen/shattered Keppi).